Gossamer
by Jessa4865
Summary: Sometimes a gossamer thread is the strongest bond. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

_AN: I'm still working on True Happiness, in fact, it's nearly done. But this one came to me and wouldn't quit bugging me. No promises when Chapter Two will be out. RL is still being a bitch. Please let me know what you think! For the record... this part is really just setting up the real story._

Gossamer

Jessa4865

Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just taking them out for some fun. I'll put them back when I'm done. Promise.

Spoilers: Season Eight, including Threads.

Chapter One

Whenever Colonel Carter happened to peek in General O'Neill's office, he usually believed it to be the harbinger of something good. That Tuesday afternoon, however, he wasn't pleased to see her. He hid the grimace that crossed his face by pretending to finish reading the paper in front of him.

"Sir? Do you have a moment?" Polite and professional to the last, she waited for his permission to enter.

He forced a smile and inclined his head to the side, indicating that she was welcome. "What can I do for you?" Normally he tried to keep things light and informal, but he'd been avoiding her for two days and thought he might scare her away by pretending to be in a bad mood.

She stood in front of his desk; her stiff movements revealing that she was well aware of his mood. "I know you're very busy, sir, so I'll keep this short. I haven't heard back on my request to join the research team at the Alpha Site and I was wondering if you'd had time to review my proposal."

He had, of course, reviewed her proposal. As impartial as he tried to be, any requests made by SG-1 always magically wound up on the top of his pile and generally were approved without question. They rarely asked for anything excessive or unnecessary. But Carter's most recent request was simply unimaginable to him, damn near preposterous. She was asking for an open-ended temporary reassignment to the Alpha Site on the grounds that the head of their research department was ineffective. Jack already knew the arrogant man needed to be replaced and had been planning on asking Carter's help to find a suitable replacement. Unfortunately, when she asked to be that replacement, he found it impossible to consider. "I glanced at it."

For all of her efforts to keep her expression schooled into an impassive mask, her stare faltered for a moment as she frowned. "Glanced at it, sir?"

She knew. He knew she knew. She was calling him on it. With a sigh, he closed the folder in front of him and folded his hands on his desk. He hated telling her no; he really hated that he had to lie to her too. "Fine, Carter, I reviewed it. We need you here."

Her eyes fell on his for a moment and he could see the internal struggle when she weighed her options. She could argue professionally and get only half answers; she could appeal to him as a friend and get stonewalled. "Sir, Dr. Abrams is an embarrassment to the Air Force and to Earth as well. His position is a critical one." As usual, the professionalism won out.

It only irritated him; he would have greatly preferred that she allow herself to get angry. "He will be replaced. We are working on that, Carter."

She bit her lip for a moment and chose her words carefully, although her irritation slipped through in her tone. "Is there any particular reason why I am not being considered for the position, sir, or is it simply that I'm so valuable here on stand-down?"

He fought to keep the smile off his face. He liked to think her occasional flippant comments were evidence of his influence over her. "SG-1 is on stand-down because you're working yourselves into the ground. You're useless as a unit when you're exhausted. And reassigning you somewhere where no one will know any better than to let you work yourself to death is not in your best interest. Like I said, Carter, you're needed here." It was as close as he would get to the truth - that he wanted her where he could keep an eye on her. She'd been under more stress than anyone with her father's death and her break up with Pete and even her run in with Kerry. She was spending way too much time working and, for the time being, he didn't trust her not to push herself too hard.

Her professionalism disappeared entirely. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Why don't you just tell the truth and say you just won't let me go rather than the vague bull about how much I'm needed here. I'm not doing anything."

His eyes locked on hers. His heart beat faster. He loved the thrill of arguing with her. It was the only time they ever got to display any emotion whatsoever. "Fine, Carter, you can't go cause I said so. Is that better?"

"No." She waited until he raised his eyebrow at her before she finished. "Sir."

"I don't think you should be making any big decisions right now. I think you need to be in familiar surroundings until you come to terms with the recent developments in your life." He inwardly winced at his own words. It didn't sound like something he'd ever think. He feared the stars on his shoulders had seeped into his head and were turning him into a jerk.

"Why don't you just refer me for counseling, sir?"

He cracked a smile specifically to annoy her. "Hey, that's a good idea."

"Conveniently, there is a resident psychologist stationed at the Alpha Site, sir." There was pride behind the twinkle in her eye; she loved to argue because she usually won.

"Conveniently, there's a resident psychologist stationed here too, Carter. I can call him right now if you'd like." He didn't want her to talk to a psychologist; he wanted her to talk to him. After their fishing trip, he'd thought they were making headway. Unfortunately, she'd completely shut him out immediately upon their return.

"Sir-"

"No, Carter. Request denied." He couldn't let her go. He had a million reasons, less than half of which had anything to do with her invaluable knowledge of the Stargate. He watched her bite down the remarks that came to her mind. He looked down. "Dismissed."

She spun on her heel and practically stormed out of the room. He stared after her for a long time. He'd done what had to be done. He'd succeeded.

And he felt like shit. He hated being in charge.

He found his way to her lab a few hours later. It was late, later than she needed to be there at least, but he fully expected her to be working diligently on something. To his surprise, she was waiting for her computer to shut down; her jacket was already on and her purse was in her hand. He closed his eyes for a moment. She was mad. Very, very mad. And she was mad at him.

"Hey, Carter."

He saw her jerk in surprise. She closed her laptop and thrust it into the case. "Yes, sir? Did you need something?" She picked up the laptop case and threw it over her shoulder as well. Her keys were already in hand.

He knew she hated her boss at that moment. He was there to help her distinguish between her boss and her friend. "I was just wondering if you wanted to crash Daniel's with dinner and a movie. I'm sure Teal'c will be free."

"No, sir."

"Big plans?" He asked, but he was afraid of the answer. He never knew if she was going to patch things up with Pete or if, God forbid, she'd meet someone else.

"No, sir." She adjusted the bags on her shoulder. "Is that all, sir?"

He felt slightly worse that she hadn't bothered with an excuse. She just didn't want to be near him. "Yeah, that's all." It was obvious that she wanted to leave and that she wanted to put as much space between them as possible. He backed out of the doorway and allowed her to pass. She was several steps in front of him on the way to the elevator. "Carter."

She stopped, but didn't turn back. "Yes, sir?"

He moved in front of her, feeling horribly guilty for having denied her. "I'm sorry."

"You know, sir, I started working on the Stargate when I was 24 and I realized something today. I will never, ever be able to leave it, will I?"

"I didn't know you wanted to." The idea that she wanted to leave sent ice cold daggers through his heart, but his face gave nothing away.

"I just thought I'd have options. I spent so much time in school. I joined the Air Force. I always thought the more I knew how to do, the more choices I'd have. But that's not the case. I'll be here until the day I die."

He tried to lighten the conversation and smiled at her. "Job security's good, isn't it?" When his words failed to have any effect on her, he looked down. "It's not that, Carter. It's just bad timing. I don't think the Alpha Site is the place for you at the moment."

"Is it even up to you, sir? If I submitted my resignation, could you accept it? Or would someone stop you?"

His eyes went wide at the thought. "Carter, are you telling me-"

"No, I'm not. I'm just curious if it's your fault that I'm stuck here or if you're following orders."

"I'm sure someone somewhere would have a whole lot to say if you tried to resign. But this time, it's all me. We need you here right now."

"Why? There are a hundred people who know everything about the gate that I do. There are people who've spent more time working with it than me. They could probably tell you better than me how it works. Why am I so damn important?"

His eyes fixed on a spot on the wall just over her shoulder. He couldn't bring himself to meet her piercing gaze. "You just are, Carter. I don't want you going anywhere."

"That's what this is about, isn't it? You. What you want. To hell with me and what I want."

"Carter-" Even as his voice warned her, his mind reeled with the fact that she knew. She knew he wasn't about to let her leave him. He suddenly hated having that power over her. It was up to him - and he couldn't let her go. It just wasn't right.

"Can I go, sir?" Her voice held as much contempt as she dared.

He nodded in defeat. He was a jerk and she knew it. He watched as she walked the rest of the way to the elevator, jabbing the button repeatedly in anger. She stepped inside and turned back to face him. As the doors started to close, he caught her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sam. Really."

"Like hell."

He stared at the doors for a long time before he found the strength to go home.


	2. Chapter Two

_AN: Thanks for the encouragement. Please keep the reviews coming - they keep me motivated!_

Chapter Two

He waited a while before he left the base for the night. He wanted to give her space; he was afraid of what would happen if he ran into her in the parking lot. He didn't want another argument. He didn't want to make her madder. It was late enough that there was no traffic to fight, but early enough that it wasn't yet dark. Jack thought about Carter, about their fight, as he drove.

She was far angrier than he'd honestly expected, far angrier than he'd seen her in a long time. When he thought about the obvious disdain she'd displayed, it gave him an even better indication - for her to allow herself to show such contempt for a superior officer she had to be madder than hell.

His phone rang halfway through the drive and he grabbed at it, praying it was her. Luckily, he checked the display before he answered it - it was Daniel. He let the phone fall unanswered onto the passenger seat. He hadn't been making up the invitation to Daniel's, but he certainly wasn't in the mood for it anymore.

One clear thought struck him as he pulled into his driveway. He'd been in the military a long, long time and had met more generals than he could name. They'd almost always been rude or cold or aloof. On occasion, he'd met a decent few who would smile or have a normal conversation, but they had always been ones far removed from wherever he'd been working at the time. It all became clear at that moment - they'd all known the lesson he'd just learned. It wasn't possible to be in charge and to be a friend.

Just as horrible as sending a friend into battle, blocking a friend's career path was the quickest road to ending the friendship. Regardless of his reasons, he knew she didn't understand. Carter was having the same trouble making a distinction between his roles in her life as he was. And although she'd called him 'sir' he knew she hadn't seen her boss telling her no - she'd seen her friend. That was why she'd been so burned.

Jack spent a good half hour puttering about in his kitchen for dinner. It was force of habit, rather than actual hunger, that propelled him to put some pasta on the stove to cook. He watched it boiling and realized he wasn't the slightest bit hungry. Still, he continued to stir it and the sauce, trying to distract himself. It didn't work.

_Damned if you do…_ It was about more than Carter's career anyway; he just didn't know how to tell her. If he allowed her to transfer, to take the research position, it would technically be a promotion although her rank would remain the same. He knew rumors would fly over him promoting her again and so quickly. Favoritism, fraternization - whatever they attributed it to, it would look just as bad for her as it did for him.

_Damned if you don't…_ Of course, keeping her on base, under his watchful eye, never out of his chain of command would look suspicious as well. People would talk that he was still favoring her, keeping her in the highly coveted position as leader of SG-1 when it was obvious her talents were well suited for more scientific pursuits.

There had to be another way - a way that wasn't so hard on her as to make her question his loyalty; a way that wasn't so easy on her as to make everyone else question his character.

_Screw them all…_ He'd find a way to make it up to her that didn't involve her going halfway across the galaxy. He'd been in the business too long to care what people thought anymore. Besides, he could always threaten retirement. Then Carter would have a boss who could make decisions about her career based on her merits alone and not be swayed by the thought of having to face a day without her.

The hiss of the water boiling over brought him back to reality. He turned off the burners and abandoned the half cooked meal. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and picked up the phone to call her. He was going to be out of sorts until he talked to her.

The phone rang far too many times before he realized she didn't have it on her. He tried her house line and hung up when her machine clicked on. She was probably out on her bike. He knew she rode when she was upset and he was well aware that he'd well and truly set her off. He carried his beer onto the deck, threw himself carelessly into one of the chairs, and stared at nothing.

His eyes fell on the spot where she'd stood that fateful day. She'd been so endearingly nervous, so frazzled and uncertain, so unsure of herself as to appear young and innocent and naive. He'd been glued in fear to his spot at the grill, knowing without question that Kerry was going to stumble into that conversation. Had he been alone, he would have rejoiced in seeing her, especially when he heard the bumbling words that most certainly prefaced a conversation he'd been dying to have. He remembered the uncharacteristic way she'd revealed her nerves in playing with her sweater self-consciously. It still brought a smile to his face that she was there to confess her unprofessional feelings for him and had still called him sir. The smile disappeared as soon as it had come. He vividly recalled the momentary shock and hurt and betrayal he'd seen on her face when she recognized Kerry and why the other woman was there. He'd thanked his lucky stars when he phone rang and tore her away; he was sure they all had, although the news it had brought wasn't welcome at all.

But worst of all, he remembered the stupid, selfish, simple way he'd stood there with his girlfriend and watched the love of his life scamper away with her heart broken and her tail between her legs.

He'd wanted to tell her, to explain to her, that he'd wanted to give chase, that he'd wanted to ignore Kerry's interruption and have that conversation with her. He'd just been so shocked that she'd been there to have it at all and so embarrassed about hiding his relationship that he couldn't respond until it was too late. Too late for Carter's benefit, but not too late for Kerry. She'd seen it. He took another sip of beer and thanked whoever was looking out for him. He'd liked Kerry, but he wouldn't have been able to fake it for long. And he was well aware that she probably wouldn't continue to ignore all those times he'd called her by the wrong name - especially at intimate moments when Carter should have been the furthest thing from his mind.

He returned to the kitchen briefly to grab the rest of the six-pack before he resumed his lookout over the back yard. It was Carter's own fault, he determined with the aid of the alcohol. After nearly ten years, she had to be aware of how thick he could be at times. She had to know that he always reacted like a deer caught in the headlights whenever their relationship came up. Hell, half the times she spoke to him, he reacted that way. He thought over their argument once again and corrected himself. A stupid deer caught in the headlights with its foot in its mouth. That was more like him. Or maybe a fly on flypaper - where every move he tried to make only made the situation worse.

He was on his third beer when he heard the answering machine beep. He'd been so focused on his thoughts that he hadn't heard the ringing. He perched on the edge of the chair, ready to run for it if it was Carter. It was Daniel, announcing his assumption that dinner was off although he couldn't reach anyone to confirm that and asking if he ought to call the police and report them missing. His friend's half worried, half irritated voice made Jack smile. It was so rare anymore for them to hang out together that no one turned down the suggestion when it was made. Jack settled back in his chair; he'd call to apologize in the morning. Daniel wouldn't want a somber Jack and a pissy Carter over anyway.

It was long since dark, but Jack could see the storm clouds gathering in the moonlight. He didn't pay attention to the weather much since he spent the vast majority of his life twenty-eight stories below the ground, but he knew it had been terribly hot for the previous few days. The air had been stifling and muggy and painfully still since he'd been sitting there, giving away the intentions of the universe, had he been paying attention.

He felt the condensation drip from his last beer, run down his hand, and fall to the wooden deck. The beer was getting dangerously close to too hot to drink, but he was determined to finish it. Beer meant he'd stop thinking; he was already halfway there - his thoughts were coming at random and some of them had nothing to do with Carter. Even better, the thought of Carter no longer brought the frustrated, angry feeling it had following their fight - it only brought the smile it usually did when he was alone.

He stayed on the porch and watched the clouds move closer. The thunder rumbled softly in the distance. The lightening flashes lit the sky. It was still far enough away that Jack only sat and watched the show. It moved quicker as it got closer. The telltale first drops of rain stained his shirt and he stood up, pausing for a moment to consider the empty bottles littering the porch. He knew he should pick them up, but by the time he finished the thought, the drops of rain had turned into a deluge. He ducked into the comfort of the house and decided he'd clean up in the morning.

He closed up the house, locking the doors and turning off the lights as he headed to bed. He left the bedroom curtains open to watch the storm as he fell asleep. As he drifted off, his last conscious thoughts were of Carter and his hope that she'd made it home before the rain started.


	3. Chapter Three

_AN: I know it's a holiday weekend for most people, but please let me know what you think! Reviews make my day!_

Chapter Three

He dreamt that night - one of those creepy dreams where his consciousness was well aware that he was dreaming. He knew it was those last thoughts of Carter that spurred his dream, yet his consciousness was powerless to wake him. He could only sit by and let the dream happen.

It started out pleasant enough - he was on a bike. The road was dark and his full concentration was fixated on the thin beam of brightness from his headlight. The roar of the motor was drowned out by the thickness of the helmet protecting his head. His hands were ice cold from the wind and he heard the chiding voice in the back of his head that told him he never should have been so upset to have forgotten his gloves. His conscious mind reminded him that he'd never been on a motorcycle in all his life and therefore never would have known he'd need gloves.

The turn was tight and it took all of his strength to keep the bike under control; it didn't matter, though. He gunned it a little harder, increasing the speed. His eyes lighted on the speedometer for a moment, laughing inwardly when he saw the next speed limit sign. No, he had no tolerance for traffic laws when he was angry. Although he remembered that he hadn't been angry anymore when he went to bed, he was angry in the dream. He felt the heat coursing through his veins; he felt his heart pounding; he felt his teeth grinding to hold back the frustrated scream that threatened. The sheer force of his anger startled him - even when Carter was challenging him, he hadn't felt so pissed. But he was mad. And more - the hatred was covering the pain and defeat and impotence of his position. Half awake, he reminded himself that he was the one in charge; he called the shots. In his dream, he was the loser. But on his bike, he was in charge. There was no rank or loyalty or constraints.

He gunned the engine more, letting the increasing speed drive the demons from him. The pressure of the wind on his chest forced back the feeling that he was going to explode from the emotions raging inside him. He felt the roughness of the grips against his hands and squeezed as hard as he could, the exertion draining more of the stress out of him. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and let it wash over him.

He understood in that moment why she rode. He felt the release, the relief, the escape. He drew in a few slow deep breaths, easing the tension from his soul. Calm once again, he eased off the accelerator and brought the bike back to a more manageable speed where he could easily handle the twists in the road.

The lightening took him by surprise, even though he had been well aware of the storm that was raging when he went to sleep. His heart rate sped up again, from nerves rather than anger. The thunder was drowned out by the bike and the helmet, but he knew it was there. The rain felt like cold blades slicing into his unprotected hands. He cursed himself for forgetting the gloves once again, instinctively knowing that wet hands could lose their grip easily.

He told himself that he was dreaming as his heart pounded against his chest. He wanted to wake up, but he was held prisoner by his thoughts.

His headlight no longer did anything to combat the darkness - the clouds and rain and fog left him blinded. He knew there was nowhere safe to stop and wait it out, not on the twisting, winding road he'd chosen for his heedless pursuit of freedom. He slowed slightly, mindful of the slick pavement beneath him, and telling himself that he needed to check the forecast before he took off in a rage.

And suddenly, through the sheeting rain, he saw the trees. They were too close. The bend was too tight. The bike was going too fast. He tried with all his might to stop. He felt the wheels sliding, bumping roughly as they lost contact with the road. His mind was screaming at him to speed up in order to regain that grip, somehow knowing that increasing the revolution of the tires was the only chance he had to retake control. And still, his mind asked him where he'd gotten that information because he never recalled knowing it before then. Nonetheless, the terror overtook his analytical mind and he could only brake harder as the bike started to roll.

He was weightless for a heart-stopping moment until he felt the tug of the bike, heavy in his tight grasp. He fought for control although he knew it was gone. His hands reluctantly gave up hold of the handles when the weight just became too much for him.

And then he was falling, tumbling, flying. He felt nothing except terror.

The physical sensations were gone, lost with the bike, as the emotional took over. The terror abated, allowing sadness and loss to rise up. They faded to something else and it took his mind a moment to recognize that it was forgiveness. He wasn't mad at all; there were no hard feelings.

And that realization made way for the last one - perhaps the scariest thing he'd ever felt in all his life. Love. Complete and utter love. It was thoughts of Carter that enveloped him, cushioned him from the blows that rained down on his body. He heard the snap of bone as his body came to a halt, half wrapped around a tree. He didn't feel pain. He didn't feel the cold rain seeping through the tears in his clothes. As the darkness descended around him, he felt only love. Because, really, in the end, that was all that mattered.

Jack jerked awake, sitting straight up in bed and gasping for breath. His eyes searched the darkness wildly, seeing the familiar dark shadows of his bedroom lit occasionally by the flashes of lightening. The storm was moving away, but he still felt it inside of him. He took a few deep breaths and dropped his face into his hands as he tried to calm down.

He'd had nightmares for years. Following his years of covert ops and Charlie's death, he'd become all too familiar with the pattern of waking up drenched in sweat and out of breath. He was shaking as he pulled himself unsteadily to his feet.

The bathroom light blinded him when he switched it on and he pressed his hands against his closed lids as it reminded him too much of the lightening in his dream. He gulped down handfuls of water and tried to block out the images that continued to assault him of tumbling uncontrollably. Part of him still felt like he was falling. He ran his hands through his hair, causing the wet pieces to stand up in their usual crazy angles.

He sat down heavily on the side of the bathtub, feeling the protest of his lungs after the workout his heart had gotten. It had been years since he'd had a nightmare like that and he told himself he was going to order Carter to find a less dangerous hobby. He chuckled to himself when he imagined telling her that she was giving him nightmares. She'd get a good kick out of that.

Still trembling, he made his way to the living room and dropped onto the couch. He was physically exhausted. With rest like that, he needed a vacation. He reached for the remote and tried to drown out the parts of his mind that were still screaming with the ceaseless drone of CNN.

Forty-five minutes of financial news later, he wasn't feeling any better. Just like everyone else who had a nightmare, he wanted the comfort of a familiar voice to reassure him that it was just a dream and that he was all right. Besides, he thought as he dialed the phone, he owed her an apology. The fact that she didn't answer did not soothe him. He told himself that she was just really angry as he hung up and redialed four times.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time he headed for his truck. He'd thrown on some jeans that sorely needed washing and a jacket as a nod to the weather, but hadn't bothered with a shirt. He just wanted to check, he told himself. He wasn't going to knock and wake her. He just needed to make sure.

His heart had resumed its pounding when he pulled up to her house. He told himself that the presence of her car meant that she was safe and sound inside. But the lights burning inside told him otherwise. He raced over her lawn, realizing he hadn't bothered with shoes as the wet grass slid between his toes. He knew she was going to get a good laugh at him when she saw him. And she deserved to - after the way he'd acted. Against his better judgment, his fist fell hard on the door. He wasn't seeking entrance; he was insisting on it.

He continued to pound long after it became obvious that she wasn't going to answer. He paid no attention to what her neighbors might think when he boosted himself up on her trash cans to peer in the garage windows. He saw exactly what he'd expected - nothing. Her bike was gone.

He dialed Daniel's number as he climbed back in his truck. He was trying to fight the waves of near hysteria that were rolling through him, but his voice was broken as he answered Daniel's sleepy greeting. "Daniel, is Sam there?"

"What? No." Daniel paused for a moment, probably locating his glasses in the dark. "Jesus, Jack, it's three in the morning. What would Sam be doing here now?"

He fought back the sob, but it escaped anyway. "I think she's hurt, Daniel. Meet me downstairs." He hung up before Daniel was able to utter a response.

It felt like forever before his wheels screeched to a halt on the sidewalk below Daniel's apartment. Daniel was waiting for him, the hood of his windbreaker obscuring his face. He barely climbed in the truck before Jack peeled out again.

"Jack, what's going on?" He threw back his hood to shake off the water and then turned to notice his friend's attire. "Did you guys have a fight?"

Jack shook his head guiltily. "Before she left work. She was really pissed. Where does she go to ride?" He would have been ashamed that he didn't know, but he was too upset.

Daniel placed a reassuring hand on Jack's shoulder. "Maybe she's just not answering because she mad. Did you go by her place?"

Jack swiped angrily at the tears on his face. "Of course I did. Her bike was gone, Daniel." He turned to stare at Daniel with pain-filled eyes. "Now you tell me where she'd be at three in the morning on her bike."

Something in Jack's eyes or voice or tears made Daniel fully aware that it was very real. "She likes to go riding out in North Cheyenne Park."

Jack pressed harder on the gas as he headed to the outskirts of town. He didn't want to think of her in that park, injured and helpless and alone. He knew there were only a few roads there, but they were terribly dangerous as far as he was concerned, especially in the middle of a storm.


	4. Chapter Four

_AN: In RL, the hits just keep on coming... I hope you guys are enjoying the story though. Please let me know!_

Chapter Four

They drove in silence at first, but Daniel was never one to not ask questions. As the sleep wore off, he only grew more curious. "Jack, what the hell is going on?"

He didn't want to answer, but as he began to speak he decided he liked having his mind occupied with something other than visions of Carter lying broken and battered on the forest floor. "She asked for a transfer to the Alpha Site to replace Dr. Abrams. I said no."

"Are you serious? I had no idea." Daniel's voice gave away his surprise. He shook off the last remnants of sleep. "Permanently?"

"She claimed it was only until another replacement could be found, but we've already been looking for one for almost a year and she knew that."

Daniel's voice was soft as he asked his next questions, not meaning to pry as he tried to understand. "Was something going on with the two of you? Do you think she was trying to get away from something here? Have you guys been fighting?"

"No, Daniel, I didn't know a damn thing about it. She's barely spoken to me since we came back from the cabin and that was only about work stuff." He winced thinking about it; he should have seen it before she requested a transfer. He should have tried to talk to her. In retrospect, it was obvious that something had been bothering her. "Was she talking to you at all?"

Daniel shook his head. "I just kind of figured-" His voice trailed off while he tried to think of a delicate way to put it. "I guess I thought after Pete and Kerry and everything you guys were working things out so I didn't ask."

Jack's head snapped toward his friend, giving into his gut reaction whenever someone besides Carter alluded to their relationship. "And what, pray tell, would we be working out, Daniel?"

Daniel ignored the angry response. "Cut the crap, Jack. Would you have noticed I was missing in the middle of the night or would it have waited until I didn't show up for work?"

"I might have." He didn't want to get into the reason he was convinced Carter was lying at the bottom of a ravine somewhere.

Daniel folded his arms over his chest and contemplated the man who had slowed the truck to a crawl as he searched the dark road before them. "You always go out looking for various members of the staff in the middle of the night half dressed, right? Come on, Jack, how'd you know she was missing?"

Jack scowled more at the fact that the road was every bit as treacherous as he'd remembered than at the implication Daniel was making. "Will you just keep your eyes out for a sign of her?"

Daniel quietly turned to look out his side as they crept along the road. It was only two miles from one end of the park to the other, but at the rate Jack was driving it was going to take them an hour to cross it. He let the silence hang between them as he looked into the trees, adding his own fervent prayer to Jack's that Sam wasn't lying out there somewhere.

"Jack, maybe if you tell me what happened, I might be able to think of somewhere she could be." He was certain Jack wasn't telling him everything.

Jack stopped the truck in the middle of the road and slammed the gear shift into park. "What, Daniel? What do you think really happened? You think I'm sleeping with her? You think she skipped out on me in the middle of the night and now I'm pissed off? What the fuck do you think is really going on here?"

Daniel shrunk back against the inside of his door. He let the fury drain from Jack, knowing the older man lashed out as a defense mechanism. "If our positions were reversed, would you think something was going on?"

"I was at home, asleep. Alone. I woke up and tried to call her to apologize for being a jackass and she didn't answer the phone. So I went over there to see if she was all right. I assumed she was just mad at me and I was going to leave her alone if she was. But every light in the damn house was on and her car was there and her bike was gone."

Daniel nodded. "Maybe she was out riding and got caught in the storm. She could be in a motel somewhere. She's too smart to do something dangerous like riding along this road in a storm."

Jack shook his head. "Not when she's mad. She's just as human and stupid as the rest of us when she's mad. And she was mad, Daniel." He shifted the truck back into drive and began creeping along the road again. "She said earlier that she realized she was never going to be able to leave the SGC."

"Does she want to?" His voice was muffled because his face was once again turned toward the side, searching the blackness for Sam.

"That's what I said. But that's not the point, Daniel. The point is that she should be able to leave it she wants. She should be able to do anything in the world, but she thinks she's going to be tied to that damn mountain for the rest of her life."

"Oh." From the silence that followed, Jack knew Daniel had understood the issue faster than he had.

The storm had passed completely and the rain stopped. They rode for another few minutes in silence until Jack stopped the truck.

"Oh, God."

Daniel looked around, searching fruitlessly for whatever Jack had seen. He saw nothing, but he noticed the deathly pale color of Jack's skin. "Jack?"

He didn't hear Daniel's worried inquiry. He didn't notice the truck start to roll as his foot slipped off the brake. He only saw the small group of trees before him, nestled at the edge of a sharp turn.

They were exactly the same as he'd seen in the dream.

He turned back to Daniel with tears forming. "Call an ambulance."

"Jack, what are you talking about?"

But as the truck inched forward without the benefit of the gas or the brake, the skid marks slowly came into view. Too narrow to be a car; too twisted to be salvageable.

Jack turned to Daniel once again, stopping the truck and climbing out. "Get some help here now. She's down there somewhere."

Daniel leaned over and turned on the flashers, just in case someone else came down the lonely road. Then he jumped out of the truck and followed Jack to the edge. "How do you know, Jack? Those tire marks could be from years ago."

Jack got his phone from his pocket and threw it to Daniel. "I just know, Daniel. Please call for help." He didn't say another word as he hurried down the steep, wooded hill that lined the road.

The bare skin of his feet cried out in pain as he ran over the rough terrain, but he wasn't about to stop. He was going to find her. He had to find her. And he could only hope that she'd still be alive when he did.


	5. Chapter Five

_AN: Thanks for the reviews. I love to hear what everyone thinks!_

Chapter Five

Without headlights, a flashlight, or even lightening to guide him, Jack was running, tripping mostly, down the incline. He didn't bother calling her name; he knew she wouldn't answer. He heard Daniel's frantic voice calling to him, but he ignored it as it grew more distant. Jack was beyond rational thought. He didn't care that he had a bag in the back of his truck with a change of clothes and even some old boots from the last time he'd gone camping. He didn't care that there was probably a flashlight in there too. He didn't care that the four-wheel drive in his truck could probably handle the sloping ground better than his bare feet or that the headlights would give him the advantage of not being blind. He didn't care about anything except finding Carter.

His foot caught on a fallen branch, anchoring his bad leg and bringing him down hard on that quasi functional knee. The pain shot through him, freezing him on the spot. Agony rolled through him in waves, nauseating him. He already knew, from the sheer force of his fall, that he was going in for another surgery.

But it wouldn't matter, he told himself as he climbed back to his feet despite the pain. If he didn't find Carter, or God forbid, he didn't find her alive, he was going to kill himself. Simple as that.

He forced himself to continue on with the excruciating pain. He had no idea where she was. Even working from his dream, he only knew where she'd left the road. He didn't have any clue how fast she'd been going or how far she could have fallen. She didn't stand a chance if he was the only one looking. He started the slow climb back to the road in defeat, blinded more by his tears than by the darkness. And he realized, had it been the other way around, had Carter been searching for him, she would have known exactly where to look - because she would have known all that shit about force and acceleration and gravity and how that all translated into the exact distance a 180 pound man would have landed from the curve.

Daniel was nearly hysterical when Jack all but collapsed on the blacktop. He offered his strength to help Jack back to the truck, but Jack was too worn out to move. He sat in the gravel, feeling the dampness seep into his pants and watching the blood gather from the cuts on his feet.

Daniel squatted down beside his friend, trying to reassure him with a hand on his back. "Look, Jack, I don't know what you're operating on here, but the odds that Sam is out here are very slim."

"Where are the cops? Shouldn't they be here by now?" Jack searched the sky for a helicopter with search lights. He saw only clouds.

"They're not coming." He held up his hand before Jack could say anything. "I tried, Jack. I lied and said we knew she went out here tonight to ride and that she was supposed to be back early. They won't send a team out for an accident they don't know happened. They said she's an adult and unless there's a witness, she's not considered missing yet."

"I saw it, Daniel." His voice was flat and defeated. Evidently the panic had drained out of him with the oozing blood.

"What?" Daniel couldn't hide the alarm in his voice. "What do you mean you saw it?"

His head was throbbing already from the adrenaline; his knee ached a bit more every moment. He looked at Daniel, too desperate to be embarrassed and too scared to realize Daniel was the only person on earth wouldn't question his explanation. "I was sleeping, Daniel. But I felt it, I saw it. I can't explain it. It was like I was here with her. I saw it, even before she lost control. She went out because she was mad at me and then the storm came up and she didn't see the turn until it was too late."

The only sound from Daniel was the crunching of the gravel as he sat down next to Jack. He simply offered his presence as comfort until something came to him. "She must have been thinking about you pretty hard for you to have felt it." He saw Jack's head bob his agreement. His next question was so terrifying that barely a whisper escaped his throat. "Do you think she's still alive, Jack?"

He'd been worried about finding her and it had crossed his mind that she might not be, but he heard the implication of Daniel's statement. Daniel wasn't questioning the veracity; he was trying to find a cause. Jack could only shrug as the lump in his throat cut off his words. He couldn't process the idea that those moments had been her last, that perhaps it was only in death that she was able to share it with him. "We have to find her, Daniel. She's here. She's right here and she's hurt and we're all she's got."

Daniel reached for the phone in his pocket once again. "That's a great idea, Jack." Jack looked at him curiously. Daniel searched the list of numbers for the one he'd been given 'in case of an emergency,' the one he'd never gotten around to deleting. He felt the situation certainly qualified as an emergency. A voice answered on the fourth ring; the answering machine clicked on simultaneously. "Pete? This is Daniel Jackson."

Jack hung his head, fearing he'd never hear the end of it from Carter when she found out they'd called Shanahan. But he didn't really care, not if she was well enough to give him hell.

His attention turned back to Daniel, whose voice had grown loud and irritated. "Yeah, well, I'm glad she didn't marry you!"

Jack watched in horror as Daniel disconnected the phone angrily. He couldn't believe it.

"He won't help. He said he can't send out a search without filing a report and he can't file a report until she's been missing for twenty-four hours." Daniel glared at the phone. "I'm so glad she dumped him."

"Of course if she hadn't, he'd probably be willing to help." Jack reached for the phone, remembering suddenly that he was a general. He didn't have to wait twenty-four hours for anything. He dialed Peterson and started ordering people around.

Within twenty-four minutes, two choppers were scouring the area and at least thirty men were pouring through the woods on foot. They'd brought in lights that made it bright as day. Someone had taken the liberty to notify the SGC as well and there were many airmen there, whose names Jack couldn't place, looking for Carter. No one mentioned Jack's less than proper attire or how the search had come about. No one questioned a general, least of all the low level airmen who were working at that unfortunate hour.

Daniel tried to coax Jack back into the truck, claiming that he was cold. Jack only shrugged and said he wasn't leaving. Daniel kept trying. "Jack, if you get sick, she's going to blame me. I'm not asking you to leave. I'm not going anywhere either until they find her or she calls and asks why you called her six hundred times while she was out." He stood and nudged Jack with his knee. "Come on, Jack. Get up."

"I can't." He motioned toward his knee, the swelling of which was obvious even through his jeans.

Shouts from the woods interrupted their conversation and the pain was forgotten once again as a group of airmen lugged a badly damaged motorcycle back onto the road. Jack sprang to his feet, the pain in his heart far outweighing the pain in his knee.

He'd known, and yet, he still hadn't expected it. He gripped the fabric of Daniel's jacket in a tight fist. "Oh, God, Daniel, no!"

Daniel stared at the mangled bike in horror. As sympathetic as he'd been in listening to Jack's explanation, he hadn't truly believed it was possible. Half in shock, he supported as much of Jack's weight as possible as they approached the unlucky men who'd stumbled on the bike.

The young man was probably barely out of his teens and his eyes widened in fear when Jack gripped his collar tightly. "Did you see her? Is she down there? Where did you find it?" The airman could only stutter out a few half words.

Daniel worked Jack's hand free. He pointed toward another man he recognized from the base. Although he had no idea of his rank, he figured it didn't actually matter at that point. "Go tell the Lieutenant over there to take a group of men exactly where you found it and start searching from there." He waited until the group had descended into the trees again. "Is there a medic here?" His shout was loud enough to draw the attention of the men who'd been summoned for the express purpose of transporting Sam to the hospital if they found her.

One of them approached, looking around for evidence of the victim. "Yes, sir, what do you need?"

Daniel froze for a moment, eventually realizing that he was being mistaken for an officer. He almost grinned at the thought - he was the most un-military type ever. "General O'Neill needs someone to look at his knee."

They brought over a stretcher for Jack and began looking at his injury. "I think you've got a fracture here, although you really need an x-ray to be sure. Might even be some ligament damage. We'll get you to the hospital right away."

Jack shoved them away and hopped up onto one foot. "I'm not going anywhere, airman. Get the hell away from me. That's an order." As soon as they complied, Jack glared at Daniel. "I'm not leaving here without her."

Daniel nodded and resumed his position at Jack's side to help him sit back down in the dirt. "You can ride back in the ambulance with her. I'll follow in your truck."

Jack nodded. "They'll find her, Daniel."

"Of course they will, Jack."

Some men nearby were talking about waiting until daylight and bringing out dogs. Jack clenched his teeth and stared in direction they'd found her bike. To him, dogs meant they were looking for a body, not a person. "They'll find her."

"I know, Jack." He glanced at the blank expression on Jack's face. Anyone else would think he felt nothing, that he was as impassive as his carefully schooled features implied, but Daniel knew better and he could see the terror in those dark eyes. "She'll be ok, Jack. She'll be fine. She'll be complaining about you embarrassing her with all this."

Daniel's words did nothing to quiet the anxiety Jack felt. Every part of his body ached, not from his fall, but from the knowledge that Carter, his Carter, his Sam, was lying out there somewhere, helpless and injured and terrified. Jack hung his head and tried to hide his tears.


	6. Chapter Six

_AN: Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm working on getting this out as quickly as possible! _

Chapter Six

Somehow, despite all of the chaos around him, the night fell deathly silent. Jack's mind alternated between the pain in his knee and the fear that they wouldn't find Carter. He focused on Carter, letting everything else slip away. He didn't hear the call Daniel made to Teal'c to inform him of the situation. He didn't hear the argument that broke out when the police department finally decided to see what the Air Force was up to. He only thought of Carter and wished he could find her as easily as he'd known she was in trouble.

Although he was paying no attention to the noise, he did notice when it abruptly stopped. The background sounds of chatter died away. Jack looked up at the same moment Daniel grabbed his arm. The medics were being summoned, the shock of having found something stunning everyone into silence. The two friends glanced at each other, moving swiftly to chase the medics down the hillside. Jack was too scared to feel his own pain at that point; Daniel was too surprised to think better of letting Jack damage himself further. Despite their actions in getting the search going, they weren't really ready for the news. They hurried through the woods with Jack stumbling more than once as his knee tried to give out.

She was lying unmoving against a tree trunk; her body facing it. Her legs half wrapped around the obstacle as if to say they would have been happy to keep falling had the tree not interrupted the process. Her left arm was tucked against her stomach; her hand pressed against the bark. Her right arm splayed out underneath her at an awkward angle.

The medics discussed the pros and cons of getting a back board versus evacuating her immediately; Daniel stayed back a step, wincing involuntarily at her wounded condition. Jack wasn't shocked; he was actually relieved they had found her finally. His world narrowed to only her again. He dropped to his knees beside her. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, to touch her skin and feel the warmth of life in her. But he couldn't. He didn't want to cause more injury by touching her or moving her. He didn't know if they'd let him - one of the medics was watching her closely, using his stethoscope to listen to her body while the debate about moving her continued.

Heartened by the fact that the man appeared to be listening to something which translated to her still breathing, Jack was able to breathe himself. His eyes fell on her bare hands, pale and torn and bleeding. He remembered the gloves she'd wished for, the ones that would have prevented some of the jagged slices through her skin. Her hands had been so cold from the wind and rain. He reached out, gently cradling one of her freezing hands in both of his. Her skin was so icy to the touch that it sent shivers through him, but he didn't let go. He tried to infuse warmth into her, hating the limp way her hand rested in his. He wished he could feel her hand caressing his, their fingers lacing together, even the motion of her pulling away would have been welcome.

Evidently, the team decided using a back board was the best way to get her to safety. All but one of the men abandoned them to get more equipment. Someone spoke softly to Daniel, just to let him know, and he, in turn, explained it gently to Jack. Jack didn't hear a word. He was staring at the dark helmet that obscured Carter's face and head. He was so confused at that point he didn't even know how to feel about it - he was thankful that she'd been wearing it because it was certainly one of the few factors about the crash in her favor, but he hated it at the same time because he was desperate see her face.

The medic who remained answered Jack's prayer. Having finished with the cursory exam and unable to do much for her until she was stabilized to prevent any new or further damage to her back, he asked for Jack's help. He needed to put the C-collar on her, to keep her neck supported. He wanted to do it as quickly as possible because he was concerned the weight of the helmet could exacerbate any existing injury. The helmet would have to be moved to fasten the collar properly. He moved carefully to unhook the chin strap and helped Jack position his hands to support her neck and keep her head from moving until the collar was secured.

Jack tried to keep his hands from shaking while he assisted. He told himself it wouldn't do to cause her more pain, so he forced his hands still. Although he'd known the helmet protected her, he was glad to see her unblemished face. She didn't look hurt or sick; she only looked like she was sleeping. He leaned over her as he cradled her head and neck the way he'd been shown, wishing the situation was very different. Had she been well, or even conscious, he knew it would have been so easy to slide his fingers through her hair, to let his weight press into her, to kiss her lips the way he'd always wanted.

And it was as the medic tossed the helmet to the side and opened up the collar that Jack saw a brief, but brilliant, flash of blue. Her eyes fluttered open for one magnificent moment, meeting Jack's. He didn't even have time to react or feel embarrassed for the tears still pouring down his face. Her eyes closed again immediately, leaving Jack feeling deflated. Daniel was the only one who saw the faint smile quirk the edges of her mouth.

With the collar closed and the return of the better prepared medics, Jack was more or less shoved out of the way. He told himself it was more important for them to be close to her at that moment, that he'd done all he could. But he still hated that he'd been right. He would have much preferred an irate Carter, snapping at him for checking up on her. He would have much preferred her demanding the transfer and threatening to report him to someone or other for being unfair if he tried to refuse. He even would have much preferred seeing her throw her resignation in his face and storm out of his life forever.

Instead he watched a team of men he'd never seen before carry her battered, unconscious body back up to the road. Only a few steps behind them, he was still too late to insinuate himself in the group that crowded into the helicopter which stole her away. He stared motionless as the chopper lifted off, unable to do anything.

Daniel coaxed Jack back into his truck, taking the driver's seat from his dazed friend. Concern for Sam allowed him to push the truck much harder than he ever would have, taking turns so fast that he half feared they would wind up in the same shape. He didn't stop or even slow down as he careened through the city, ignoring red lights and stop signs and the occasional car. He couldn't stand the thought of losing even a moment; he needed to get Jack to the hospital as soon as possible. He was convinced that Jack's presence, such as it was, would make a huge difference in how Sam made out. And even if Sam would be fine without Jack there, Daniel knew that Jack wouldn't be.

There was a police cruiser tailing them, lights on and sirens wailing when Daniel finally pulled up to the emergency room. Jack raced inside while Daniel slowly climbed out of the truck, ready to face any punishment the officer felt he deserved. Luckily, the cop let him go with only a warning once he'd heard the story of the crash and the helicopter rescue.

Daniel caught up with Jack just as the nurse was explaining that they didn't have any information yet. She'd arrived and was being assessed, but there was nothing useful at all for

them to know. When pressed, she could only offer up a seemingly endless list of tests and things that might have to be done to determine the extent of her injuries. She pointed out that it would be much easier, of course, if Sam woke up and told them what was hurting.

Daniel spoke up. "She was awake for a moment when we found her." Jack looked up, appearing alarmed for not having mentioned it himself.

The nurse was encouraged by that. "Was she talking? Did she indicate anything about her injuries?"

Jack's shoulders drooped. "She only opened her eyes for a second."

The nurse's disappointment did not go unnoticed by either man. "While that might seem like a promising sign, her eyes opening may have been an involuntary response to pain or another stimulus."

Jack nodded, refusing to hear what the nurse was saying. But Daniel had seen what Jack hadn't. "But she smiled. She looked at Jack and then she smiled."

Jack looked at Daniel in surprise. "She did?" The nurse glanced between the two men, waiting as eagerly for Daniel's response as Jack was.

Daniel nodded. "It was only a second, like I said, but she looked at you and smiled. She was awake. She recognized you."

The nurse put a reassuring hand on Jack's shoulder when he slumped back against the wall with a sigh of relief. "I'll mention it to the doctor. You guys have a seat and I'll make sure you're notified of anything we find out."

After the nurse left, Jack turned to Daniel. "Are you sure?"

Daniel nodded. "Definitely."

"I guess she's not mad anymore."

"I think after what she's been through tonight she probably doesn't even remember being mad. She was just glad you were there. She was happy to see you."

Jack slowly lowered himself into a chair, realizing the pain in his knee was steadily getting worse. Daniel left, returning a few minutes later with a doctor to check on Jack's knee. As they helped Jack to a treatment room, Jack turned to his friend. "Thank you."

Daniel knew he wasn't talking about getting the doctor. He simply nodded. "Any time."


	7. Chapter Seven

_AN: Ok, this is really short, but again, RL is rearing it's ugly head. It's looking like the next part will be the last, but then again, who can tell, right? Please let me know what you think!_

Chapter Seven

It felt like hours to Jack as he underwent x-rays and treatment for his knee. The doctor's grim face reinforced what Jack already knew. He'd really done it. The doctor shook his head as he faced Jack, telling him pointedly that he was amazed Jack had been able to walk on it at all after he fell. It was going to take a minimum of two surgeries to correct the three torn ligaments. And the minimum of two was really being excessively optimistic, he said. The doctor started going into all the things Jack would have to do to alleviate the pain and prevent more problems.

Jack held up his hand, cutting the doctor off mid-sentence. "I have to get to Sam." He'd been patient. He'd behaved. But he'd dispatched Daniel to go check on Sam an hour earlier and he hadn't heard back. He was done being good.

The doctor looked confused, unprepared for that statement. "I'm sorry?"

"She was in an accident. She's hurt. That's how I fell in the first place. Please. I need to go see her." He couldn't remember a time he'd sounded so pathetic, but he wasn't ashamed - not if it helped him get to her.

The doctor nodded. "Give me a minute. I'll see how fast I can get you out of here."

A nurse appeared a few minutes later with paperwork, a pair of crutches and a brace of some sort that covered nearly his entire leg. As soon as his leg was wrapped up and immobile, Jack took off down the hall, swinging himself roughly on his crutches. He found Daniel and Teal'c sitting in the hallway only a few doors down from where he'd been.

"Daniel?"

Daniel looked up, startled to see Jack. He looked at his watch. "I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't realize it was that long."

Teal'c looked at Jack's leg. "Were you also injured with Colonel Carter?"

"No. Have you heard anything?" Jack dropped into a chair by them; the brace on his leg forced his leg to stretch out awkwardly before him.

Daniel shook his head. "They haven't really said much. I was going to wait until I heard something to come back and talk to you. She hasn't woken up. Her right arm is broken. They're not too worried about her head because she was wearing a helmet, but they're concerned about internal and spinal cord injuries."

Teal'c leaned forward. "They have taken Colonel Carter for a scan of her cat."

"CT scan, T." Jack corrected him automatically, before the news of her possible injuries really hit him.

Teal'c nodded. "Yes. This will reveal the extent of her injuries."

Jack leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He was so tired, but he knew there would be no rest for him until he could see Carter and know that she was ok. He glanced at his watch, more out of habit than anything else. It was nearly seven. He should probably notify someone somewhere that he and SG-1 weren't going to be in. He patted his pockets for his phone, but came up empty.

"Looking for this?" Daniel was holding the phone up in front of him. "I never gave it back to you."

Jack reached for it and called Colonel Reynolds, giving him very few details besides the fact that he was being left in charge for the day. Jack hung up, hoping that he'd have good news to take back to the base the following day. He knew word would eventually spread about Carter's accident because there had been so many airmen from the SGC out there looking for her.

It wasn't long before the doctor came looking for them. Daniel was the first to jump to his feet, followed by Teal'c. Jack struggled for a moment, trying to get up without using his injured leg. The doctor smiled at Daniel. "Are you Jack?"

Daniel shook his head, turning and noticing his friend's struggle to stand. He and Teal'c had no trouble helping Jack up. Irritated, Jack propped himself up on his crutches and willed himself not to feel the throbbing pain. "I'm Jack."

"Sam's awake. She's been asking for you."

Jack let out a sigh of relief. "How is she?"

"She's pretty banged up. We can talk more about her status in a minute. I'd like you to come back and see her first."

Jack looked curiously at Daniel and Teal'c and shrugged. They shrugged back. Jack followed the doctor. "But she's all right, right?"

The doctor half-smiled. "She's pretty upset at the moment. She really wants to see you." He paused at the door.

The doctor opened the door and stepped out of the way. Jack hobbled forward. Sam fought against the collar to turn her head toward the noise. Jack could see from the way she moved that she was desperate to see who was coming in. "Sam, it's me." He hopped across the room because it was faster than the crutches. He went to reach for her hand, but one was hooked up to an IV and the other was wrapped up in gauze. He reached out and ran his hand along her cheek instead.

Her eyes met his and he could see her relax. "Jack?" Her voice was weak, but it didn't matter to him. He was just glad to see her awake. "Sir?"

He shushed her. "After tonight, you can call me Jack."

Tears formed in her eyes and he watched helplessly as they ran down the sides of her face. "Thought you were there."

He carefully wiped away her tears and smiled. "We'll talk about that later, ok?" He leaned down and kissed her forehead, not caring how inappropriate the action might be. "Now you have to let the doctor take care of you, deal?"

She smiled and nodded. "Don't leave."

"I'll be right outside." His hand ran along her cheek again and he reveled in the soft feel of her skin beneath his hand. "I promise."

The doctor accompanied Jack back to wait with Daniel and Teal'c, explaining Carter's injuries on the way. Besides the broken arm, her hand was fractured, she had several broken ribs, various injuries to her legs, and a small fracture in the vertebrae in her neck. There was nothing she wouldn't heal from in a few weeks, the doctor promised. The last thing Jack heard sent a chill running through him.

"It's a good thing they found her when they did. With her injuries and the temperature dropping, she would have been hypothermic in a few hours. She probably wouldn't have lived until morning."

Jack met Daniel's eye in the quiet that followed; both of them knew there was no way to explain how they'd found her in time.


	8. Chapter Eight

_AN: My apologies for the serious lateness of this conclusion... My mom had surgery yesterday, so things have been particularly stressful as of late, however, she's doing well now and I'm hoping I'll be more punctual with my next story. Please R&R!_

Chapter Eight

The three men spent hours waiting for Sam to be ready for visitors. The doctor checked in frequently to keep them updated, reporting that she was a much better patient once she'd seen Jack. They set her arm, taped her ribs, and tended to the rest of her wounds. She was extremely lucky, they all said, not only that she'd been found so quickly, but that her injuries weren't far worse. Daniel, once assured that Sam would be fine, told Jack about a friend of his who'd been thrown from a motorcycle. He'd only flown across the road, but the impact had killed him instantly. Jack just shook his head and thanked Daniel for having kept that news to himself throughout the search.

It was early afternoon when she was finally settled into a room and allowed visitors. Jack winced at the mottled black and blue marks that covered the arm not in a cast. He was sure her legs looked the same from her tumble and he was thankful for the blanket that hid them from view. He smiled when he met her eyes; her face had been protected and didn't have a mark on it.

She smiled brightly, despite the constraint of the contraption on her neck. "Hey, guys. I'm glad you came back."

Teal'c nodded as he as he stepped up beside her bed. "Colonel Carter, we have not left this establishment."

She went to check her watch, but realized it wasn't there. "Isn't it late?" She looked around for some indication where it was day or night, but she found none.

Daniel laughed. "Well, I might have caught a little nap this morning in the waiting room, but Jack did wake me up at three in the morning."

Jack smiled slightly, trying to force himself to appear detached even though everyone present knew better. "You need a new hobby, Carter."

"Like knitting, sir?"

"Yes, like knitting. This one is just far too stressful for your friends."

"I'll take it under advisement, sir." Her brow furrowed when she noticed his crutches. "What happened, sir?"

He looked down, uncharacteristically bashful. "The knee's just not what it used to be, you know."

Teal'c took the opportunity to tease Jack. "Daniel Jackson informed me that General O'Neill was injured in an attempt to find you."

Sam's eyes darted around, trying to figure out if Teal'c had suddenly developed a tendency to lie. Jack wouldn't look at her. Daniel wouldn't meet her eyes. Teal'c's stare remained impassive. "Really?"

Rather than let his friends embarrass him further, Jack decided to answer. "Apparently I can't see in the dark. And there was the matter of the homicidal tree branch that jumped out in front of me."

"How did they find me?" She didn't need to remind them that no one else would have been on that road anyway.

Daniel shrugged. "That's really Jack's department." He glanced at Jack for a moment, hoping he was reading Jack's expressionless manner correctly. "Teal'c and I are going to head out now. We just wanted to see how you were. Get well soon." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks, guys."

Teal'c looked perplexed for a moment before he leaned over and kissed her cheek as well. Seemingly ignorant of three incredulous faces gaping at him, he nodded. "I encourage you to heal quickly as well."

Jack motioned among the others. "Should I leave you alone then?"

Teal'c missed the joke and stared solemnly at Jack. "I have no romantic attachment to Colonel Carter. In that respect, I believe you are infinitely more welcome than I." At that point, Daniel dragged Teal'c from the room before he could say anything else, but not before Jack and Sam heard him laughing.

Thoroughly embarrassed and unable to escape the situation, Sam's face burned red. Jack felt bad for her and covered his own embarrassment for both their sakes. "Honestly, Carter, I'm not sure I'm welcome here at all."

The stress of the night had allowed her to block their fight from her mind entirely. "Sir?"

"The whole not letting you transfer thing? I should probably kick myself for reminding you that you're not speaking to me." He met her eyes with a smile spreading across his face. "Although I also seem to remember telling you to call me Jack."

"Yes, sir." She winced. "Sorry, sir." She squeezed her eyes closed as she laughed. "I'll work on that."

He ignored the nearby chair and opted to perch on the edge of her bed. "Are you still mad?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't even really mad at you."

"Could've fooled me."

"I was mad at the situation and I took it out on you."

Jack looked at his hands and realized what he was about to say was the hardest thing he'd ever have to say. He reached out for her hand, mindful of the bandage as he squeezed it gently. "You can go." He didn't even recognize the choked whisper that came out as his own voice.

"What?"

He glanced up at her, unsure if she was confused or if she really hadn't heard him. "The Alpha Site. You can go. I'll approve your request as soon as I get back."

"I don't want to." There were tears in her eyes that he took to mean she did really want to go, despite her claim.

"No, Sam. I'm not going to hold you back. I've already held you back enough."

She blinked back the tears, unable to wipe them away since Jack was still holding the hand that wasn't in a cast. "I realized something last night." She met his eyes, seeing the same nearly overpowering emotions mirrored there. "I thought I was going to die last night." She sniffled as he reached out to wipe away her tears. "I felt like I was falling forever and I was sure I was going to die. But I didn't think about Mark and my nieces or about seeing my mom and dad again."

"Sam." He carefully traced her cheek with his fingers until they rested against her lips, trying to shush her. "It's ok."

"I thought about you." Her eyes shone with tears, unmentionable fear reflecting in them.

"I know." His voice was choked once again, thick with feelings he'd always tried to hide.

"How?"

"I have no idea how, but I was there. I felt the whole thing." He expected her scientific skepticism. He expected doubt. He expected a vehement denial that such an experience was possible.

Sam just nodded. "That's why I thought you were there. I felt you."

"That's why I said you could transfer." He saw the shock and confusion on her face before he continued. "No amount of distance is ever going to break that bond, Sam."

She held his eyes for a long time. "I don't want to transfer. I want to resign."

His first instinct was to argue, to try to talk her out of it, to stop her. But he only nodded as he looked away. "Are you sure?"

She squeezed the hand he was still holding. "Aren't you?"

He glanced back at her, a cheeky grin spreading over his face. His voice gained strength as he finally found himself admitting to the emotion he'd been hiding for so long. "I love you."

The smile that lit her face was quite possibly the biggest he'd ever seen. "Sounds like a good reason not to transfer millions of miles away, sir."

He leaned forward until he was just inches away from her face. But then he stopped abruptly. "I thought we covered that sir thing."

She grinned happily as her gaze drifted from his eyes to his lips. "I love you too, Jack."

And that was all he needed to hear to close the distance between them.


End file.
